H really is a Jekyll and Hyde character.
He is the most loving and helpful child. He is the one that is fi
rst to help. He tells me how much he loves me constantly. He is forever telling me how great of a mother I am and how some parents would not do what I have done. He says things like you never made me stay in schools that I could not handle and fought and got me the right school. Then on the flip side, when H is really struggling and in states of overwhelm, he can be brutal. Just picking food to eat can lead to this which ends up with him screaming at us telling us we are starving in and swearing and calling us names when in reality he does not know what he wants and in that very moment does not know what he wants to eat and is unable to make a decision.
The hardest part is how quickly we bounce around its like your being bounced between 2 very close walls. H will have an almighty meltdown calling you all the names you can imagine and then 10 minutes later he’s telling you how you’re the best parent in the world. He also gets so so upset at this. He gets angry that he does not have any control over this. He will often plead with us to be able to make decisions and eat what he wants. He is the same with sleep he gets so upset that he is unable to sleep.
I often get asked by others if I could take my Boys neurodivergence away, would I? I really would not what I would do if I could ensure that they do not suffer due to them but there ND is who they are, and I would never want to change who they are.
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